Round Two: accepting the challenge

Last year around the beginning of March began a neat time in my life, one of the times when I was really excited about something. That time opened up doors for me, teaching me a bit of Java and some Python and that I can do a lot on an hour a day.

That period ended about June 1st even though I didn't realize it had ended until a few months later and didn't fully recognize it until perhaps last December. I am really glad I took the challenge that I did take. I learned a lot and I think I could do a much better job the second time around on the same project.

Today I read a comment on a Paul Graham essay that rang out as a challenge. Here it is:

I worked for startups all through my 20s, but now at 37, I, I find myself up against point #9.

9. Family to support

I'd love to found a startup, but having a wife, two wonderful kids, and a $500K mortgage give you a very different perspective on the startup lifestyle.

I imagine a startup incubator where the founders are provided with salary and benefits comparable to working for a corporation, and they are encouraged (forced?) to maintain a reasonable life/work balance, (The latter is probably the hardest to achieve; a startup requires an almost monomaniacal focus).

Well, I'm going to be 30 in less than a week. I have 5 children and a mortgage and I'm planning to complete a PhD. I want to publish my intention here to

1. continue to take great care of my family,
2. continue to progress on my degree and
   
3. start a company that I can be proud of.
   

I'm tired of people telling me that I can't.

I take this comment and others like it as a challenge and, having conferred with my wife and having prayed, I accept the challenge.

So here begins round two. I made a few mistakes in round one. Perhaps I can avoid them this time through.

1. My startup was a cool idea rather than something that I care about enough to sacrifice for.
2. I delegated my commitment to others. What I mean is that as I progressed I ran into things I didn't want to do. Rather than stay committed to making sure those things would happen I found others and hoped they would make the things happen. The delegation wasn't the problem so much as the relaxation of the commitment to make sure that they actually happened.
3. There came a time when I started focusing on tools instead of on producing results. Tools are important. But if you are going to do anything results have to be paramount.
4. I didn't talk to my target audience. I produced a product that I intended to sell to a certain group without ever actually talking to that group.

I've considered a lot of options. I can quit graduate school and start working. That doesn't feel right at this point. I can stay at graduate school and focus on it alone. Actually, for some reason I can't. I just can't seem to trust myself that graduate school right now is an adequate use of my time and my talents. Or I can go for it.

So I'm going for it. Wish us luck.